Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself. – Joseph Campbell

‘ I used to be rich. Funny. Romantic. A fabulous blues guitar player. A champion  boxer’ in my weight class. A great lover. I was successful. Until THEY came along and ruined all my shine and swagger. ‘ How many times have you met a person that sings this song? They cannot take responsibility for the air they breathe much less their own failures and lack. I call it: Blame-It-On-My-Ex-Syndrome.

Initially, people such as this can be charming. Attractive. All narcissists are. It is easy to get caught in their web. You aren’t the kind of person to kick a person when they are down. You figure maybe you can help them to heal. You figure they just need a break. You figure they care about you. You figure they want you so they will value you. You figure you have nothing else going on right now so let me fix this. You figure wrong. Before long you are the THEY that is keeping your little narcissist from being POTUS or an Oscar winning Director. That is when the hurtin’ gets real.

Now what?

You have been sucked into their drama. It won’t be to easy to crawl out of the vacuum. Ever get hooked on a daytime soap? It takes awhile before you can kick the habit. The script they are working from is often fascinating. Multi-layered and complex. Exciting and damn …  fun. Attachment mistaken for love goes deep. Like a two pack a day smoker you will have to detach in stages.

First, you will need to physically remove yourself from this person. You can go cold turkey and ghost them. Or you may try The 8 Week Plan. The 8 Week Plan is a commitment to cut back on seeing this person one extra day a week every week. By week 7 you will have spent your last day with them. Tedious but effective if you do not have the courage worked up to abandon ship at the moment.

Week 8 you are free and ready for stage two.

You will notice that you have now replaced longing with anger. Anger is not always a bad thing. In this case it is a signal letting you know you are worthy of better treatment. The anger will fade over time as you become the new old better you and habit your way back to contentment. It takes whatever time it takes to trust yourself and other humans again. Things will start to move along faster once you learn the lesson.

The lesson is to LISTEN.

Listen to the words people say.

What they are saying has emotion attached to it. It is only a matter of time before they will be saying these same words to you. Our emotional vocabulary tends to be limited. When someone is trying to sell you lies? God gave you the gift of discernment. Don’t buy into them.

Sending Love, Light & Oceans of Bliss.

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